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The Broken Bowl

I’m being vulnerable and sharing this with you because those thoughts and urges to run away from my feelings still happen for me.  I’m not immune to being human.

Here goes…

I heard the crash while my back was towards him.  I was facing the kitchen sink getting ready to prep my own Continue reading

Fear of Taking it Slow

Small changes don't seem worth it when you're faced with the pain of wanting to change.
I get it.  I felt like that.  And I tried several times to do it all at once. I wanted desperately to have peace with food and my body and I wanted it immediately, overnight or sooner! And I felt with 100% surety that the only way to do that was to make all the changes at the same time.
I would spend hours making a plan.  Then wake the next day and do everything within my power to sustain the massive change that I was undertaking.  The problem I found was that, although I was committed, I continually failed to hold any part of the change in place.
I would eventually get overwhelmed and quit (sometimes that first day and sometimes a few weeks later).  And then cycle back to a new 'plan' that work 'this time'.
When I saw the pattern I was re-living over and over again, I decided to try something different.  What if, instead of trying to do it all at once, I just started with one thing?
My mind chatter exploded with excuses and listing the reasons why that wouldn't work and why I needed to change everything right now.
Instead of buying into that talk, I noticed the excuses and asked myself, "If changing everything all at once really worked, then wouldn't my other attempts have worked already?"

The truth is that I was still imperfect from this moment of realization.
I waffled back and forth, made mistakes, and every once in a while I would try my 'everything' at once approach - but over time I started implementing ONE thing.  I allowed myself to practice it and let everything else go.  I took the pressure off - and as I did one thing at a time, my results began to change.
Instead of waking up and judging my body.  I began waking up and thanking my body.
Instead of obsessively thinking about food, I found myself asking my body if I was hungry or if I needed something in a spiritual, emotional, or mental way.
It's easy to think that we must change everything and do it NOW. But if that worked, you would already have peace with food and your body. When you shift your approach by a small degree it does make a difference. You not notice it in the beginning, but over time you will end up with a complete different result.
My 'Everything at Once' Result: Hating my body and being obsessed with food as being the enemy.
My 'Small Changes' Result: Accepting my body and feeling at peace with and supported by food.
Don't believe your mind chatter when it tells you that you have do it all now. You'll get overwhelmed and continue to experience the same old cycle. Instead just pick one thing and practice it. I may be drinking more water, journal writing, affirmations, deep breathing before eating, questioning your mind chatter, eating when you're hungry, stopping when you're full, etc. Just pick ONE thing - and fully experience it. Be present with the whole process of learning that one thing. And then when you feel ready, add another small change.
This kind of change is sustainable. It's doable. And it's only way that I know of to creating lasting change that doesn't feel overwhelming.
A small degree of change can alter the entire outcome of your results.  Don't be afraid to take it slow and adjust your 'sail' by small increments - it will make a difference.

I believe in you,

Stefanie

Focus: 5 Questions to get it Back

I don’t know about you, but I find that my focus can shift rather quickly throughout my day.   It could be in response to a situation, thought, emotion, etc.

One minute I can have everything lined out for a healthy productive day and then the next minute – I’m running Continue reading