I could always feel it coming on – the ‘food noise’ in my mind would get louder and louder. It felt like a large wave of pressure that wouldn’t go away until I gave in and binged.
It was unrelenting – and I found myself in a constant state of ‘food hell’ and self hatred.
As painful as binge eating had been for me, it also taught me 3 very powerful lessons about life that can create freedom for you too!
1) Learning to Feel Again
I had become so accustomed to NOT feeling – that it was foreign territory for me to even admit that I felt anything at all. In the past I had used food as a way to escape my emotions for temporary relief.
In order to move forward and tap into my true potential, I knew that I had to learn how to feel again.
I started by writing and I did it a lot! I had a journal by my bed, in my purse, and next to my computer. When I felt anything, I wrote it down. When I had a thought that created an emotional response, I wrote it down. I didn’t censor myself – I just let it flow onto the paper.
This began creating an awareness of my emotions and the thoughts that were creating them. I began feeling again! It was uncomfortable at times, but I found that when I choose to feel the feeling instead of ‘eating it’ – the feeling eventually passed and did not last forever. I felt empowered knowing that emotions were a part of life and I was capable of feeling them.
Lesson I learned:
It’s easier to feel an emotion and release it, than it is to EAT it and store it.
2) Asking Better Questions & Taking Inspired Action
Instead of fighting those urges I had to binge, I became my own detective and started asking better questions…
· What am I feeling right now?
· What would I rather be feeling?
· What is my soul yearning for?
· How can I meet the emotion/need I am looking for right now?
· How else can I think about this situation?
I would sit down with those questions, write my thoughts, and contemplate.
As I took the time to reflect and let those questions swirl around in my mind – the answers started coming. (They didn’t always come immediately, or on my timeline, but they always did come!)
When I received those inspirations – I started taking immediate action and began creating new coping skills to deal with stress and everything else that comes with life!
Over time I learned how to meet my needs rather than ‘stuffing’ them down with food.
Lesson I learned:
Act when that still small voice whispers wisdom in my ear!
3) Taking Responsibility
Binge eating, emotional eating, compulsive eating, and other eating patterns are not things that you or I were ‘born’ with. Our DNA is not ‘broken’. We are not victims to food, life, or circumstances.
You are whole and complete!
I learned that the only thing that was getting in the way of creating the freedom I wanted and yearned for was the ‘story’ I had believed about being a victim to food and life.
It was never about the food. The answer was in the thoughts and emotions I had about myself.
It’s about what you think about yourself. It’s about how you feel about yourself. This is about transforming the way you think and feel about YOU and your abilities.
In taking responsibility for your life (even the parts you don’t like) – you take your power back. You are the only one that has been at the helm of your ship – you are the captain. You have the power to create whatever you want to experience.
Everyone has a story. You can choose whether that story makes you a victim or whether it makes someone who thrives on the simple joys of life.
It’s time to stop surviving and start thriving in your life! You are the captain of your ship. Pick your destination, get your thoughts & emotions in alignment with what you want, and allow it into your life.
Lesson I learned:
Taking responsibility for my life puts me back in the driver’s seat!
Loving yourself starts in radically changing the way you speak to yourself and in the thoughts that you allow to be entertained in your mind.
I can’t claim that this process was easy, or that I have ‘arrived’ at my true self. But what I do know is that I am a beautiful, imperfect, work in progress that is worthy of love & acceptance. AND SO ARE YOU!